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Sunday, 07 February 2010
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Regret
Everyone does things they regret- whether they realize it years down the road or right after the incident or experience happened.
I regret things. I regret a lot of things- probably too long to list here and I don't feel like typing for 5 hours to get all the shit out of my head.
If we didn't regret things, we would not learn from our experiences and why we shouldn't do it again. We wouldn't grow as a human being into the person that we are today.
If we did not have any experiences at all, and we are too afraid to take a chance and do something about it, we would not experience LIFE.
Life is about experiences- both good and bad. Everyone in life has experiences we really prefer not to remember. When we don't want to remember something, we try our best not to think about it. Some people even block it out. Most people want that memory out of their head forever.
But, do memories ever leave us? I'm not so sure. Memories we might not want to think about are stored in the back of our minds, where the subconscious might bring them up now and again. If we look at an object or person, it might trigger a thousand memories about it. Some good, and some bad.
New memories trigger old memories.. they make us think about what happened in the past, and what will happen in the future.
If we don't take chances, we don't live. We would never regret. Maybe.. just maybe... regretting is a good thing?? People say they don't regret anything. I used to be one of those people, but not anymore. There are certain things I wish I didn't endure or think about, but if you try your hardest not to think about that thing, that is all you will think about. It drives me crazy. You really, really don't want to think about whatever horrible memory it is that you have. Maybe, in order to make it go away for awhile, you just have to think about it. Think about it until you get tired of thinking about whatever it is and then it will disappear. You will get so sick of thinking about it... that you won't.
Regretting something is part of life as a human. It doesn't matter if we like it or not, every memory or event that you decide to live in the moment could be a huge life lesson. If we didn't learn any lessons, we wouldn't grow. I don't know everything. I am not even close to knowing everything there is to know. I don't want to know everything. If I did know everything, life would be dull and annoying and nothing exciting would ever happen.
Part of me wants to know what happens in the future so I wouldn't have to deal with everything. Part of me wants to make exciting life discoveries and be adventurous. The other part of me is afraid. I'm afraid I will fail. I'm afraid nothing will happen... but I have to take chances. I have to just do it.
What do you think?
P.S. This entry turned out nothing like I thought it would. I had these ideas in my head... and this is where it lead (hey, that rhymed.).
Saturday, 06 February 2010
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No More Snow Please!!
I'm tired of the snow. I want to move to Hawaii or Australia so I wouldn't have to deal with SNOW. Or some place else... beautiful island, whatever... just as long as there is no snow. :)
Sometimes I like doing surveys..
Kissed somebody whose name starts with a C T J R or S?
yeah
Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
uhh eww, that's gross. No
Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
Nope
Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Old Navy
Reason behind the last time you laughed really hard?
I think ass shit explains it all.. that's probably when I laughed the hardest.
The person you like comes up to you at this exact moment and kisses you, what's your reaction?
I'd be surprised and happy.
What does your mom call you?
Meg, Megan
Are you on a desktop or laptop?
laptop
Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately?
None of those... mix of emotions..
Have you ever spoken to someone who was completely wasted?
Maybe not wasted but almost gone.
Will you have a boyfriend/girlfriend in 6 months?
who knows?
When is the next time you will kiss someone?
I dunno :-/
Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?
Yes. Definitely.. my best friend and some of my other friends.
Do you ever think about the past?
I do. Maybe too much.
When's the last time you cried?
Monday. Lately I feel like crying a lot though. :(
Anyone of the opposite sex been on your mind lately?
Meh.
Are you nice to everyone?
I try to be
Are you listening to music?
Watching TV.
Would you ever shoot up heroin, if given the chance?
Hell no!
Who was the last person you hung out with?
My coworkers on Friday.. at work.. lol
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Aunt Cindi
Have you kissed more than ten people this year?
Uh nope.
You ever kissed someone at your house?
Yes
What is your current annoyance?
A lot is annoying me at the moment.
When was the last time you saw your father?
Tonight.
Do you sleep with your door open or closed?
Partially closed.
Are you wearing shoes right now?
Nope!
When was the last time you saw a movie in theaters?
When I saw New Moon.
Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust?
No.
If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
I don't know, I'd probably wait a little.
Would you rather be 10 years older or 10 years younger?
Neither.
Do you bite your fingernails?
I pick them.
Were you born in the 90's?
nope, 1984
How many different picture ID's do you have in your wallet?
Just one. I lost my work ID :-/
Does your dad smoke?
no
Do you hate it when people try to play with your hair?
It depends who and what they are doing to it.
How long is it until your birthday?
My birthday is June 12th.
Who was the last female you hugged?
Mom
So, how was your day today?
Ok
Do you have a best friend?
Twin!!!
What was the best memory made so far this year?
I don't know.
Who is someone you miss?
my friends and especially my best friend.
Would you ever lick a rat for $1,000?
I dunno.. is the rat dirty or clean? And what has it been doing?
One thing you and your best friends always do when you hang out?
Laugh! A lot. We also say the same thing at the same time.
Tell me about the last time you danced in the rain:
Never.
Do you need to know everything about someone's past?
the really important stuff
How well do you handle criticism?
Ok. It also depends on how someone decides to tell it to me.
Would you prefer if good things happened, or interesting things?
Good AND interesting things.
Do you own a picture phone?
yes
What is your current wallpaper?
On my phone? My favorite kid at work. :) Laptop? Milo V. aka Jesse from Gilmore Girls and then he is on HEROES too.
If your best friend came up to you and said “Hi” and then grabbed your boob?
It would sorta surprise me.
When was the last time you were sick?
Recently.
Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw?
Pasta. DUH.
Did you reject or accept your last friend request?
Reject I think.
Would you prefer being locked in a room with your ex or your worst enemy?
My ex.
Are you dating anyone?
nope nope
Who did you spend time with on New Years Eve?
familiy :)
Did you do something mean to someone today?
Nah
Are you addicted to cigarettes?
nope
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I don't know. Why are there so many relationship questions?
What does your last text say?
Text I got? Cool! Shoveling sucks.
What color is your camera?
Black
Who did you watch the ball drop with?
I didn't watch the ball drop this year.
Does anyone hate you?
I'm not sure. I hope not, but if they do.. it's their loss.
Where are your siblings?
home
If you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first?
Maybe my grandparents. If not... I don't know.. I don't really have anywhere to go.
Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy?
yes
You're extremely quiet, what’s it mean?
I'm shy. Or there is something bothering me.
Do you wear a belt with every pair of jeans?
For the most part.
Have you ever gotten to the point where you've said "I'm done trying"?
Oh yeah
Did you kiss someone tonight?
nope
How many times did you eat today?
A few
Do you want a relationship right now?
It would be nice
How many times have you kissed the last person you text messaged?
None.
Was it a boy or a girl to text you first today?
girl
Have any memories that you'd like to forget?
A few.
Do you trust your gut instinct?
I try to.
When was the last time you changed in front of someone?
It's been awhile.
Have you ever kissed under water?
No. It would be an interesting feeling though.
Is there a boy/girl that you would do absolutely everything for?
Yeah
Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
Um... Kristin?
When was the last time you totally broke down?
Monday night. That was the first.
Do you want someone back in your life?
Maybe..
Have you ever liked someone that you didn't expect to?
Oh yeah!
Have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before?
I think so?
Do you drink energy drinks?
Um nope.
Have you ever kissed an ex after breaking up?
No.... why would I do that? I don't get it.
Do you have a box with pics and letters from your ex?
No, I don't even have any pictures or letters of my ex... never did that. Maybe I'd want to... next time.
Sunday, 31 January 2010
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I Strongly Like...
I strongly like a lot of these things. Many are considered hobbies.. but I am addicted to some hobbies like reading and facebook.
Everyone has addictions in their lives.. too much of anything or anyone can be a bad thing. People just have to learn how to control their likes or desires to do something.
Look at what addiction does to people who are suffering series addictions like drug or alcohol.. it is sad and really people don't know how to get better unless they get help, they have to get help or they will die, or it will spin out of control or worse. I also see addiction as a weakness. If people don't have a cigarette or have a drink they will go crazy. I admit I have a weakness. Facebook. Reading. Everyone has those. I'm not sure if reading or Facebook is necessarily a really horrible addiction... but Facebook is not always good for you. Reading is.
Everyone has someone or something they love. Something they cannot stay away from. It could be a hobby that's an addiction and you cannot stop doing it.
My addiction is Facebook. Yeah, you laugh. Facebook? What is so great about that site? I don't know but I am always on it, talking to people or playing games. It is pretty bad. I tried to stay away from it for a week and I couldn't even stay away from it for an entire day. I lasted about half a day, and for part of it, I was sleeping. It doesn't really count. I can't seem to stay away as much as I try. That is an addiction.. no matter how hard you try to stay away from it you can't. If I'm busy and I don't get on it, I'm fine. I don't have anything to think about. When I'm bored though, forget it.. I am always on Facebook. It gets entertaining for awhile and the different games are fun to play. BTW if anyone wants to friend me on Facebook message me on here and I will give you my full name or how to find me. I am always interested in meeting new people or new friends. I wish I had friends that lived closer to me... but I'll have to deal with it now.. everyone is pretty far away. If I'm on vacation and nowhere near the internet, I'm fine- as long as I am busy! I think the keyword is busy.
My other addiction is reading. If I'm not on Facebook, I'm reading. I haven't been reading as much as I usually do. I love to read and my bookshelf in my room is full! Plus the other shelf is full of books that I need to read or look at as well. I have a lot of books that are references for writing or how to write better or develop characters and what not. I even have books to read such as classics and Pride and Prejudice and Shakespeare on my Ipod Touch. I'm such a dork! I even read Facebook, Xanga, Twitter.. yeah, I'm always reading. :O
Caffeine is my other addiction. I can go for a day or two without it but if I don't have some I notice I get bitchy. It's not like I drink 6 cups of coffee or soda a day. I usually end up drinking one can of coke or bottle a day, and if I go out to eat.. my drink usually has caffeine in it too (but most of the time I try to stay away from it after 3pm). I know I am addicted to that. I don't have to be drinking it constantly, to the affect that it will ruin things... but I do have to have a little of it. Plus, it helps me survive my job of working with crazy one year olds every day (seriously, everyone at work has some kind of caffeine- whether it's coffee or soda!). I don't know one person who doesn't drink it there.
I love music. Music is not an addiction but it is something I love. I don't HAVE to listen to something every day. Right now the most I listen to music is for 5 minutes in the car on my way to work. Not very often. If not, I have the TV on for background noise doing something. I have to have background noise on for everything or the silence drives me absolutely crazy.
Another almost addiction is chocolate. I can deal without chocolate. I can't go for weeks on end without it.. but I eat it in moderation. It's not something that I am strongly addicted to like Facebook or reading. It's just a weakness.
What is your addiction? What is something you have to have every day? It can be good, it can be whatever you want. What is it that you need to have and if you don't your day will go horribly wrong and you won't be able to survive??
Saturday, 30 January 2010
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"September"
I'm bored... so doing a survey... feel free to steal it from me!
I. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
II. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
III. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
IV. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this.
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY," YOU SAY?
"My Beautiful Woman"- Backstreet Boys
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"So What?"- Pink
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Red Guitar"- Kris Allen
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Bob That Head" - Rascal Flatts
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"It's All Your Fault"- Pink
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"You Won't Find This"- Carrie Underwood
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"How to Build a Time Machine"- Darren Hayes
8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
"Drop Out- The So Unknown" -Jack's Mannequin
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Twisted"- Carrie Underwood
10. WHAT IS 2+2?
"Song of the Century" - Green Day
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Used To"- Daughtry
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Trust Me"- The Fray
13. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Fireflies" - Owl City
14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Miss California"- Jack's Mannequin
15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Hey, Mr. DJ"- Backstreet Boys
16. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face"- Leona Lewis
17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Feels like Tonight"- Daughtry
18. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Meet Me Halfway" - Black Eyed Peas
19. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Dental Care"- Owl City
20. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Was I The Only One?" -Jordin Sparks
21. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Someone to Save You" - One Republic
22. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"Cave In"- Owl City
23. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"Supernatural"- Daughtry
24. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS NOTE AS?
"September" Leave This Town album- Daughtry
Sunday, 24 January 2010
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Music = Important
Music is important to me. It is a huge part of me, and if I couldn't hear it anymore I'd be broken hearted.
Music heals me. You know how people say "Time heals everything and heals all wounds.." well, music heals me. Music makes me feel. It makes me feel every emotion imaginable, depending on the type of song and what I'm feeling at the moment. If I didn't have music, I don't know what I would do.
Music has always been a huge part of my life. When I was in the 4th grade, I got to pick an instrument to learn how to play (people usually get to pick in 4th or 5th grade). I picked alto saxophone. I'm not even sure why I picked saxophone-- I think maybe my friend picked it and I thought it would be a great instrument to try. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Not a clue. I don't remember what my first lesson was like or how I felt. I do remember my teacher, Mr. S. He was my first ever music teacher. He had patience and he believed in me when I felt like I couldn't do it. I remember the lesson books I had- the easy beginner ones.
Middle School: Mr. R. was my teacher. He's a weirdo but I like him. He still looks exactly the same now as he did when I had him. It's funny how some things or people never change. This is where I learned how to march. I barely knew my left from my right. Ha. It wasn't too hard- and this is where we had the majorettes and the color guard introduced to us. We played 3 or 4 songs over and over again. I can't even remember them except for Raiders of the Lost Ark. Ha. I hate that song now. I went on band trips with them too. My 6th grade one was to Harrisburg. I think. 7th- I don't even remember. 8th grade- Masachusettes. We went Whale Watching in the bay and I got sea sick. Over half the band got sea sick, and a whale actually went under our boat. Someone threw up on the whale!!
High School: Mr. M.and Mr. L. Mr. M. played ALTO SAX!! and Mr. L. played trumpet (ah, oh boy.. you can imagine the conflict sometimes between them. Another thought: Why do/did I always like TRUMPET or brass players? Seriously. In high school every boy I liked was a brass player. College too.) Even though Mr. M.l and Mr. L. were completely different personality wise... M. was forgetful, nicer, funny, and had a temper at times but he rarely got mad, I think he was just frustrated a lot. L. had a bad temper and everyone knew it. The bad part is, we would all laugh at him when he got angry and that would make him even angrier. We learned how to march the right way- actually, the British way since we were based off the Coldstream Guards in London. I went to England and Scotland with the band and Disney World. Amazing times.
College:
C: He was laid back and played all kinds of brass instruments, but I think his main instrument is the trumpet. Maybe's a little too laid back. In marching band, he let the 2 drum majors take charge of everything and fix it. That was a mess in itself. It never worked.. and it would take forever to get things done. I like him, I like C a lot.. I just didn't like how he didn't do anything and let the drum majors do everything. At least he picked good songs, damn it! I learned how to march backwards and do some tricky moves.
Concert band: O.: O. got on my nerves a ton.. He's a funny guy but a freaking perfectionist who likes to ramble. O. always picked the strangest songs and we always had to sing in them. BAND IS FOR PLAYING NOT SINGING!!
H: H. took over for C. after he didn't want to do it anymore. He is a percussionist and an absolute asshole. I cannot stand H. I endured 2 years of it as it was, and I'm not entirely sure why. I should've just quit marching band but I kept going. He picked the craziest songs to do and the craziest/hardest moves in our show. He did make the band a lot better- I'll give him that. but he is an asshole! We had summer band camp from 9AM-9pm with hour lunch & dinner breaks. Unlike with the other director when we only had band from 9-5. I strongly dislike Howarth. He made me so mad all the time. He only cared about the percussionists, not the other part of the band. He is polar opposite of C.- which is why it was so hard to get used to him. He was always on his phone.. and I swear we always joked around that he was attached to it. So glad I am over Marching Band!
I did make some of the best friends I ever had there.. and some good friends who I don't get to talk to or see very much because we are separated from each other. :( Too far away!!
College was where I first learned about Tau Beta Sigma: National Honorary Band Sorority and Kappa Kappa Psi, the brotherhood. I joined Tau Beta Simga and met some amazing people there and great memories. If you don't know anything about Tau Beta Sigma, go here: http://www.tbsigma.org
and to learn more about Kappa Kappa Psi, go here: http://www.kkpsi.org
See, music has been my entire life up until recently. Now that I am listening to music again (besides just in the car on the way to work), it is bringing back all kinds of memories. If I didn't have music, I wouldn't have had a life. Simple. End of story. I need to listen more and maybe that will make me feel better. I like all kinds of songs and bands. People may be surprised to learn that but it's true. Music is something I will never forget. I will never forget how to play the alto saxophone either. I might be a little rusty- I haven't played it in almost 3 years, but yes, I will still remember how to play it and every note.
Music is everything. I should learn to appreciate the lyrics and songs people sing. I appreciate music and I need music. Without music, I wouldn't be me.
Music is the inspiration I need to move on with my life, to go out and do things I've never done before, and to feel things I've never felt before.
I didn't realize how much I relied on music until now. It is part of my survival. (it helps me forget and not think or just the opposite).
BeautifulDisaster04
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- Name: Megan
- Birthday: 6/12/1984
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 3/26/2004
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About Me
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I'm me and I like how I think.
Pulse
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Go Saints and Jahri Evans #73!
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All my entries are LONG. sorry I ramble but I'm a writer! That's what we're supposed to do. Write :-P
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Watching The Notebook. I wish I had love like they do.. :-/
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